sometimes i wish i had gone ahead and climbed it and jumped. where has my recklessness gone? time to rediscover my limits. time to push myself to my breaking points, and when i find them, i will jump off the cliff and see what happens. i’m ready to take on the world. i’m ready to prove to myself my only limitation is my own fear. i’m not holding back any more. no more disappointing myself or letting others disappoint me. my life is in my hands now, and i feel like using it, testing it, stretching it, seeing what i can do. time to get busy living.
i’ll never be the same again. fuck you. i love you.
how can you just take everything we had and throw it away in an instant? how can you help me develop such incredible visions of love and the future and turn away from me forever? how can you not be willing to try again just because it didn’t work before when everything about the situation was so much different? how can you say you loved me when you’d rather me hate you than even think about the possibility of us working? you already like a new guy, i’m not stupid. i’m sick of your bullshit answers saying i should just get over you because you don’t want anything else from me. you give up my love, you give up my friendship, you give up acknowledging my existence, and i can’t stop giving still. i love you more than you will ever accept. i want answers. they never come. the world is an empty and lonely place for those who are kind and try to love the world. what will it take to show you what i’m saying? does it take me becoming an alcoholic and going back to the previous me that i found “happiness”?
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
i only wish i could think of words so amazing for songs
LIVE IN THE PRESENT, LEARN FROM THE PAST, HOPE FOR THE FUTURE
i used to live by this quote ever since i heard it back in 6th grade. i changed it to be my own version eventually:
REMEMBER THE PAST, LIVE IN THE PRESENT, DREAM ABOUT THE FUTURE
i liked this version better. i thought i was clever when i made the insight that you could learn from the past, present, or inevitable future. i also wanted to put them in chronological order. i re-sighted it again today for someone, and it got me to thinking about what it meant. i came to the conclusion that you can move the words where ever you want and it could be right. you can’t always trust your past to learn something because the future is uncertain. dreams aren’t just about the future, they are about everything that is real or unreal, and they aren’t subject to time. i guess you can only live in the present since its still physically impossible to time travel. i would never want to bind my future to something based on what i’m doing now or did in the past. i want my life to be full of every possibility i may want, and i’m no longer going to restrict myself in such ways. so i’ve come to reach my new edition of the quote:
THE PAST IS OVER, THE FUTURE IS UNCERTAIN. LIVE LIFE FREELY.
maybe i say this hoping just in hopes of you seeing it and helping you change your mind. i’m foolish, i know, but……..yeah, we don’t know the future, so don’t chain yourself to certain paths based on what has happened before or what you think will happen. please.
What’s deeper: a Philosophy course or an Archaeology course ahahahaHAHAHAHAhahaHAh
reminder of the day: rain feels best when laying down with……(insert that special someone)
i took this picture when i was in the philippines as a storm came right our faces while we were half way up the rice terraces standing on a ledge not even 4 inches wide. it hit us, and i sat down and let it run over my face; i had a rain jacket but i didn’t want it. the only thing i wanted in the world was to be able to share the indescribable chill of the cold rain on my skin that had been cooking for 5 hours on the trail with someone who would enjoy it as much as i did. i could think of one person. then i thought of every amazing experience, every rush, every emotional rise that put me on top of the world, and it was always the same. the same someone i wanted to share that rainy summer day on the mountain with would always be the first thing to run across my mind, and then run back and stay there for a day or two. she still does that. all the time. i still want to share those moments with her. every day. and be together with her. i don’t care that the rest of the world may be against me. she isn’t the source of my happiness, but she seems to make them a whole lot better when she’s with me. so you tell me how i’m supposed to get over the one person who i want to share the world with, when she’s been telling me to open up and talk about how i feel. i opened up. i’ve fallen. i’ve changed. i’m in love. i see life differently. maybe you should open up too. and talk to me. and share with me. all the things that make your day. i want to make your day. your week. your month. your year. i think you get it.
it just sucks that you’re probably gonna read this and already have your mind closed off and refuse the entire idea. fine. i’m not gonna quit. by the way, i love you, and thats what people do when they really love them. they don’t quit on them when things get bad. we risk everything to gain the inches, which mean the most to me. so you try a little optimism, and don’t close me out.
4599.) I literally get so angry when people go on and on about how they’re so afraid of falling in love/letting anyone in. I just want to be like, you know what? You all are selfish beyond belief. Love is all about putting others before yourself. Before you put up your barriers, think about the people that you are potentially hurting- those that love you, but you’re too scared to love back. Well, I’ve been there. I’ve been in love with someone who wouldn’t let me in. It hurt like hell, let me tell you. I wanted nothing more than to help him through his pain and to let him feel the healing powers of my love, but no. He wanted nothing to do with that or me. So, to all of those who are too scared of love I say suck it up! Stop being a fucking coward! Love is amazing! Whether you end up with a broken heart, it’s not the end of the world! Everything happens for a reason. How are you supposed to grow as a person if you don’t put yourself in situations where you have that opportunity? You can’t. It’s a shame that the majority of this generation feels this way.
